Nielsens Weekly

I hate Alexander Rybak and his fucking fiddle.
You may wonder why, and he it comes.
First of all, I hate Eurovision. This is a competition for all those people who aren't good enough to get signed by a producer.
Secondly. He actually won this competition, making him the lead puppet of the morbid muppetshow, we call Eurovision.
Thirdly. His violin makes my head feel like a serious hangover combined with all the other contestants in Eurovision.
Fourthly. One of his songs, the song he won Eurovision with, Fairy Tail, was played on the radio aproxximatly 48 times a day for a couple of months even before he won the international competition. I'm so fucking sick of that song. Whenever this song is played on the radio, or I hear it, I get this taste in my mouth. You know the taste when you brush your teeth, then drink orange juice. That really bitter taste. That is what his songs taste like.
Fifthly. He looks like a soulless creature from an Ivo Caprino movie. You'll notice they have striking similarities: The empty, soulless eyes.
Upon eye contact you'll see no respons or brain activity. If you saw his head in half, instead of a brain, you'd find a lonely fisherman fishing in a small pond. Without bait. Only the mindless steams of fish are those who get pulled up trough the surface, not because they bite the hook, but the fish get tangled into the fishing line. This is much like him fishing after fans or how we, and himself, knows he'll never get a snatch from any women except the mindless, mainstream girls out there who accidently found the way into Rybak's bedroom.
Sixthly. He's a fucking wuss. He got a nervous breakdown after a phone call from one of his mindless, mainstream fans. He couldn't even handle winning a competition, which probably is the first thing he's ever won! W to the USS. WUSS.
Seventhly. He sings about this girl he has been in love with. When it was over between them, he started stalking her, following her wherever she went. He participated in Eurovision because of this girl. Guys who sings about girls got a high estrogen level. Guys with high estrogen level are feminine. Feminine guys aren't manly like Chuck Norris, Maddox, Rambo, Rocky and myself. Alexander Rybak is a feminine twat who wouldn't be able to defend herself (oh yeah. Herself) if she got in a fight.
I would like to smash his over fiddle like I smash the opponents during a hockey match. Then I would spit on it like I spit whenever I hear his song.
To sum it all up; Alexander Rybak is a marionette doll. If you pull the right strings, he will earn money for you. He has made a lot of money for him self without knowing he could have been a lot richer if he weren't a doll for everyone else. He knows how to sing and how to play the fiddle, but I still hate the guy.